Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Addendum to Stalking Post ***trigger warning***

Hello Dear Reader,

So, something a friend said to me got me thinking about my previous post about stalking. If I may, I'd like to make a small addition to it.

I know that interpersonal interaction doesn't come naturally for everyone (myself included). I have personally witnessed and been the focus of attention that could be interpreted as stalking, but was never meant that way. There was no intention to stalk or “hunt”. What there was was: a lack of awareness about what was appropriate behavior, shyness, awkwardness, and in some cases a lack of experience interacting with people, especially of the opposite sex. I still know a lot of men who aren't entirely sure about how to interact with women and vice versa. Interpersonal relationships are hard, especially when you are trying to approach someone for whom your feelings are romantic in nature.

Before I go any further, I want to take a second to say that I am not trying to say that we should just write off behavior that is inappropriate because the perpetrator of said behavior isn't aware. I am NOT trying to say that a lack of experience or social skills makes harassing someone ok. What I do want to address is the fact that often people aren't aware that their behavior is being received in a negative way and don't want it to be.

I do believe that ultimately it is on each of us to to be aware of our behavior and how it impacts those around us. That said, it is sometimes hard to remember how vastly perception varies from person to person. What I think is funny might be hideously offensive to someone else. I worry about this often as I can be, as a friend said today, “unwholesome”. I replay conversations over and over in my head and often when we leave a social event I will grill Husband about whether I offended anyone or not. As shocking as it may be to my friends, I DO try and monitor what comes out of my mouth because the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone or make them uncomfortable. I can admit, however, that I didn't always have the awareness of other people to even think about that. It took good friends and mentors pointing out when my words or behavior were not ok to put some of that structure in place. It also took getting out of negative situations and away from negative people. How could I alter my interactions if my "reputation" was keeping me from having them in the first place?

I know a lot of people (myself included) who found themselves outcasts, labeled things like: “stalker” or “creeper” or “weirdo". Those labels, especially in small communities, got around and prevented us from being perceived in any other way. It can destroy your confidence to know that people have decided that you're creepy or weird, especially if it is only the result of stumbling in your initial interactions with others. First impressions are hard to change, but they are often so very wrong. Labels stick and can become self-fulfilling when those who are their targets aren't given the chance to show that they are anything else. I didn't get a chance to shake the "weirdo" reputation until I had left one school for a far more positive environment. I have talked about personal accountability in terms of being aware of how our behavior impacts those around us and it applies here as well. I know that I have wrongfully referred to people in ways that colored how others then perceived them, and that was wrong of me. It's something important to remember. Our words do have power and by even jokingly calling someone a name we can make that name the epithet that unfairly hounds them and further cuts them off from chances to alter how they are perceived.

HOWEVER, I will still gleefully label Christian and Edward as “creepy stalkers”. They are clearly hunting down prey and do not give a damn what the “object” of their desires wants. They are completely selfish with regards to their partners. Of course, as they are both richer than Croesus, they try to hide it by constantly buying gifts and claiming that they are just “protecting” their partners. It's bullshit, but, you know, that's what they claim. Lucky for them, their partners buy it. Although honestly...I say “lucky for them” but I shudder to think what would have happened to Bella if she'd actually refused Edward and meant it. I feel like nothing short of the Winchesters teaming up with Buffy could have saved her. For both Edward and Christian the intention is to impose their will upon their partner. It is about control and getting what they want. There is an intention to pursue until their would-be partner “belongs” to them. 
 
And yes, I know I brought it back to my issues with Twilight and the 50 Shades series. But the reason that I rail against stalking as a literary device is that I feel it is reinforcing a trend where it is socially acceptable. And I am not ok with that.

I hope this makes sense. I wanted to try and address some additional perspectives.

As always, all the love.

~E.W.



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