Proud of Whatever I Am

Hello friends!

I'm sorry that it's been so long since I last posted. I'm working on a new project that has been eating my time, which is a good thing. It's been a long time since I've been really engaged with anything.

Anyway, I have been kicking this idea around ever since I watched ERod's (The Blockbuster Buster) awesome video: “Top 10 Hispanic Heroes”. At the end of the video ERod says: “Feel free to write in some of your favorites in the comments section below. And they don't have to be Hispanic. They can be whatever race, nationality, gender, or sexual orientation you might be. Whatever characters make you proud of being whatever you are.”

I thought that this might be a fun thing to post here, and of course y'all are welcome to weigh in with your own answers. I was going to try to rank these, but I'm not sure that I really can. So here we go. E.W.'s top ten characters who make me proud to be...”whatever [I] am” (in no particular order).

Gadget Hackwrench: Giant props to anyone who knows who this is right away. I'll give you a hint: “Sometimes, some crimes, go slipping through the cracks. But these two gumshoes are picking up the slack. There's no case too big, no case to small, when you need help just call: Ch ch ch Chip and Dale, Rescue Rangers!”

No, I did not have to look that up. That song is seared into my brain from my childhood. I was an honorary Rescue Ranger, thank you very much.

I always looked up to Gadget. She was the only girl and she was awesome. Smart, kind, and funny, she was the things that I really wanted to be. I loved that even though she was a girl she was the one who invented things, the one who worked with tools, the one with all the brains. She showed my super-impressionable self that being a girl did not mean that you had to be second to anyone. You could do your own thing, wear a jumpsuit, and own it. Being a tomboy growing up this was particularly vindicating. Even though as an adult I love my skirts and heels, those who know me know that I am at heart a giant tomboy still. Gadget still makes me proud to be an intelligent woman who does her own thing.

Lisa Simpson: Awww, Lisa. I started watching the Simpsons late, in high school (instead of elementary when most of my schoolmates did). I related to Lisa right away. She was a loner, in part because she was a goody-two-shoes know-it-all, and in part because she had trouble relating to kids her own age. It's hard to be that kid (God knows I was that kid), but what I love is that Lisa always ends up choosing to be true to herself. She has plenty of moments of doubt, plenty of moments where she tries to change to fit in, but she always comes back to just being her. I have had plenty of moments where I have tried to change to make people like me more, but it's characters like Lisa who remind me that I would rather just be myself and find people who dig that.

Sookie Stackhouse: I should note that I mean bookverse Sookie, NOT Trueblood Sookie. I debated with myself a LOT about whether to put Sookie on this list, largely because of my mixed feelings about her character's progression after about book 7 in the series. That being said, I really love the character I came to know in the first seven books in The Southern Vampire Mysteries, so I'm going to focus on that. Sookie is a good Southern woman (something I still consider myself to be). She's kind, strong, forgiving, and curious. Even though her powers give her more insight into people than she wants most of the time, she tries hard to both respect people's privacy and be accepting of people's natures. During some of my worst depressive moments I find myself thinking of her pragmatism and how hard she tries to find something good to see in the world. I respect how independent she is and how much she is willing to do to help people she loves. She doesn't let people talk down to her for being a woman, a barmaid, or a telepath, and she knows her own self-worth. She makes me proud to be Southern, different, and curvy.

Keladry of Mindelan: People who know me and know Tamora Pierce's books automatically assume that Veralidaine (“Daine”) Sarrasri is my favorite of the women from the Quartets. While I love her and Alanna, Kel is the character who always spoke to me. Unlike the other two, she has no magical powers whatsoever. She's the “badass normal” of the group. In the face of extraordinary challenges and danger it is Kel's grit, loyalty, and intelligence that get her through. She's decided that being a woman in the narrow definition encouraged by the time and place isn't enough for her and redefines womanhood to suit her. She's strong and courageous and not afraid to stand up for herself. When she's confronted by bullies or her own fears she's able to dig deep inside herself and push through. She has a quiet sense of humor and is able to acknowledge her own flaws and weaknesses. As someone who always gravitated towards things that aren't strictly speaking “girly” she was always an inspiration.

Rosalind ("Rose") Hawkins: Rose is the main character in Mercedes Lackey's “The Fire Rose”. When we first meet Rose it is in the wake of her father's death and she has been left alone and penniless. A strange opportunity is presented to her and even though it means going away from everything familiar and taking a chance...she does it. She is a brilliant woman who seeks to obtain and hold onto control over her life and future. The society that she lives in isn't inclined to allow her those things due to her femininity. Rose needs to do things on her own terms and man, oh man, is she not afraid to let that be known. Even when she meets the force of personality that IS Jason Cameron and finds herself essentially at his mercy she isn't afraid to point out that he needs her for her intellect and skills. She doesn't let society's expectations of her keep her from fighting to reach her potential. She is proactive when faced with a problem. Though she is human and of course susceptible to fear and uncertainty, she always tries to force herself to slow down and approach things rationally. While she doesn't consider herself a great beauty, she still takes pride in her appearance and her femininity. She is proud to be a woman and believes strongly that it shouldn't negatively impact her career and academic goals.

Tyrion Lannister: Oh Tyrion, where do I even start with you? I think a quote is probably the best place: “Never forget who you are, for surely the world won’t. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” THIS. For as long as I can remember, I have been the different one. Different skin, different hair, different body, different attitude, different interests, always different. Tyrion is completely correct in that quote. When you're different the best thing to do is own it. Be proud of exactly who and what you are. This has been a challenge for me my whole life and a lot of Tyrions inner monologue and actions speak to me very strongly. I understand the temptation to lose yourself in alcohol, and how much easier it is to hide behind being snarky. However, for all the crap that he's gone though he still tries to do at least some good in the world. He makes a lot of mistakes and has seen (and done) some truly awful things, but he owns up to them. He takes responsibility...often more than his share of it. He is who he is, the rest of the world be damned.

Dean Winchester: I have acknowledged many times on this blog that I am a GIANT SUPERNATURAL FANGIRL. *Ahem Excuse me. A lot of people assume, because of my personality, that I am a “Dean Girl”. Actually, I'm not (though I can't help fangirling over Jensen). This is probably for the best, since Husband has told me that it's good that I don't crush on Dean because that would mean that I was a giant narcissist. According to him, if I had a thing for Dean I would be crushing on myself. Now, I wouldn't go that far, but I do feel that Dean and I have a lot in common. And I'm proud of that because Dean is awesome. He is super loyal and protects the people he loves with fierceness that is close to single-minded. When he knows he has a job to do he gets it done, regardless of the consequences to him. He's not afraid to say when something sucks, he acknowledges his own fear and weakness, but it doesn't stop him from taking care of business. While it may not be the healthiest thing, he never forgives himself for his mistakes and much like Tyrion, often takes responsibility for things that aren't on him. He is willing to sacrifice himself in the literal sense and will even give up his shot at happiness to protect someone he loves. He is a control freak in the sense that he'd rather be the one to do things to make sure they get done right. Is he perfect? Hell no. He's loud, obnoxious, narcissistic, horny, he drinks too much, he can be a giant dick, and he is capable of some pretty awful things. But even when he thinks he's given up, he never stops trying. He never stops fighting.

Brienne of Tarth: This one might be self-serving or wishful thinking since Brienne is my favorite character in ASOIAF. She's strong and honorable (sometimes way past where she probably should be). When she makes a promise, damn is she willing to fight to keep it. Having been rejected for so much of her life when someone is good to her she rewards that kindness a hundredfold by being the most loyal friend/companion/whateverthefucksheistoJaime ever. Despite her literal armor and badass exterior, she has a warm heart and knows what it means to be wounded. Instead of letting the horrible ways she's been treated turn her into an evil person, she uses them to motivate her to make the world better. She pushes herself to be the best, not just because she has to, but because she wants to.

Sarah MacKenzie (“Mac”): For those of you who don't know, JAG would be another one of my fandoms. Mac is one of the two main characters in the show. She's a Marine, a lawyer, and completely unafraid to take on anyone, anywhere. She's loyal to a fault, and willing to put her career and her life on the line to do what is right. She's passionate, proud of her femininity, and unwilling to accept second best, even from the love of her life. She works hard, but is willing to let her hair down and relax around people she trusts. She has her flaws. She can be sanctimonious, stubborn, and headstrong, but she always ends up trying to improve herself. She struggles with alcoholism and isn't always able to control it, but she always finds a way to bring it back into check. Though it can sometimes take cajoling, she will accept help from the people she trusts. She's proud, sometimes to a fault, but she has a lot to be proud of.

Molly Weasley: C'mon, there had to be a character from HP on here. This is actually one that I have gotten a lot. I mean sure, I cook a lot, I'm bossy, I'm able to command large groups of children, my husband generally tries to avoid making me mad...ok, ok, I get it. I always, always loved Molly. I love that for all that she is definitely the boss of the Weasley household, she has a much softer side. She loves her kids, she adores her husband, and she is willing to do anything, sacrifice anything, to take care of them. Then, as if that wasn't awesome enough, she takes on one of the most (if you'll forgive my D&Dism) “chaotic evil” evil characters in the whole series and kicks her ass. She over-moms people sometimes, but it comes out of love and care for them. She doesn't let anyone talk down to her or her family and takes pride in herself and her home. She's a true matriarch.

Wow, that got SUPER long. I'm ok with that, though. This was a fun list to make, both because it is fun to think back on things that I love, but also because it forced me to take time to think on the good and bad parts of myself. I am definitely a flawed person, but, like most of us, I tend to focus on the negative things more than the positives. This was a good exercise in acknowledging the good in myself as it is reflected in the characters I love.

I think it's also a good exercise for me as a writer. I can see a lot of common threads in these characters, which I know are present in my own writing. I need to be aware of that in order to avoid making dozens of iterations of the same character. While I don't think that that's something I'm guilty of, the possibility certainly exists.

Ok, I really, really need to eat something. Thanks for your patience at the long time between posts lately and for sticking with me through this super-long post. I hope that you enjoyed it and that, if nothing else, it encourages you to think about all of the things that make you a unique character.

With love, as always.

~E.W.